BUTT ITCH, ANYONE??



This is hilarious, my friend Tina (MotherE, or MammaE) sent it to me:


If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Robby is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.......
"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, "Is this a jellyfish bad day?"


Poor guy! Allrightythen, I guess my worst days on OR off the job aren't as bad as that, and I'm grateful! Even my worst days being sick last week were NOT jellyfish days!

Feeling much better than I was, and thank you again for all the well wishes. That's probably what got me feeling this good so far. **hugs to everyone** Now if I could just get rid of this nasty hacking cough and get some semblance of a VOICE back.....

I hope you all have a great week, take good care of each other and if you happen to need to be doing any forgiving, how about working on that this week too? Life's so short, you know?

Thanks for the visits, keep coming back as I love the friendships!

Love Jude

A STORY WITH A MESSAGE


Thank you to my friend Vickytoria, for sending me this to share with everyone. It is a story that brought tears to my eyes as I read, and one whose message will always stay with me.....


TWO CHOICES

What would you do? You make the choice! Don't look for a punch line;
There isn't one! Read it anyway. My question to all of you is: Would
you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled
children,the father of one of the students delivered a speech that
would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the
school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does
is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other
children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is
the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe,that when a child like Shay,
physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an
opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes
in the way other people treat that child." Then he told the following
story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew
were playing baseball. Shay asked,"Do you think they'll let me play?"
Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like
Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were
allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and
some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay
could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and
said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I
guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the
ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with abroad smile
and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart.

The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom
of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still
behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove
and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was
obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning
from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the
bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two
outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and
Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to
win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that
a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold
the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the
other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved
in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able
to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and
missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball
softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and
hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder
and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would
have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead,
the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman,out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams
started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life
had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down
the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath,
Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it
to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right
fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance
to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown
the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the
pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and
far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base
deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and
turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!
Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and
those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay
ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit
the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face,
the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity
into this world.

Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter, having
never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and
coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of
the day!

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity to brighten the day of those with us the least able, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's
least fortunate amongst them.

May your day be a Shay Day,sunny today, tomorrow & always!


I love the message in this story, it is loud, clear and important!

I went back to work today, and holy crappers I don't know that my body was quite ready for that yet! I made it through the day though, and I'll get over this soon. Tonight I must fast and I hate fasting! Tomorrow morning I go for my yearly blood testing for cholesterol. I'm on meds for it and probably will be for life. Anyhoo it's a pain in the ass adventure once a year, it could be worse obviously. I don't mind needles, I just hate fasting and giving gallons of blood all at the same time, it makes me dizzy......and the worse part is having to get up at such an ungodly hour on a day off (Sunday) to race to a clinic so I can get there pretty much first, or I'll be there for hours in a line-up and that means fasting for even MORE hours.

So, I'm taking it easy tonight and just doing some R&R at home. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Take good care of each other....and be NICE to each other. Until next time, PEACE be yours.

Love Jude

SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY!!!

Today is a very sweet blogging friend's birthday, and I want to make sure I send her birthday pengy hugs! (HEY LEXY, I MADE YA SUMPIN'!!!) LOL

Go on over to Lexy's and lay a little birthday lovin' on her, she sure deserves it. Here's to a year of peace and giggles, my dear friend~ *muah*



Hmmm guess I need to send her to school to learn how to spell. Well she means well Lexy. *wink* There's your piece of banana loaf!

Still hangin' in there folks, pretty sick but some symptoms are changing out for new ones, you know the way it is with colds. ASS is good, nose is red and won't stop, can't sleep for the sore nose, cough is there for awhile yet.......but hey I'm not dizzy anymore and that's a big WOOHOO for me, I freak out when I'm dizzy. (no comments please smarty asses)

I just pulled a yummy smelling banana loaf out of the oven. I make it for hubby more than for myself. I might have one slice just to test my own product. I always add fruit and nuts and coconut, some orange extract and cinammon. Just to give it some pizzazz, you know? So it smells good in here, I'll have to try a little piece.


Okay Lexy you have yourself a wonderful day girlfriend, and all of you take care of each other! Until next time,

PEACE!
Love Jude

SWITZERLAND WONDERLAND




I saw a link to this story in a forum I belong to, and I wanted to share these pictures with you. This took place last year at this time in a place in Switzerland, and although I'm glad this didn't happen where I live because of the problems, I think the sheer beauty of ice storms is awesome to look at. Here's a sample, and then follow the links to some pretty incredible pictures:





ICE STORM

There's another page about it HERE.


Doesn't it just look like a Wonderland? Beautiful. Mother Nature uses different tools to sculpt than we humans do, and She does an awesome job.


I'd like to thank all of you for the outpooring of well wishes for this old hippie chick. I'm doing okay holding my own, it's just a virus. I saw my doctor this morning and he just advised a particular cough syrup and plenty of rest until it runs it's course. The ASS problem cleared up in no time with the help of Immodium, and now it's my head that's manufacturing more liquid than the Great Lakes combined. Honestly my nose looks like Rudolph's, and my voice (what's left of it anyway) sounds like someone took a sandblaster to it. But I'm gonna get better, and it helps to speed it up when I've got you guys all pullin' for me too. Thank you, and when my germs are all gone, I'll send you all big hugs! You're the best.

Some of you aren't feeling much better than I am, so you take care of yourselves too! Thank God for chicken soup...... take care of each other and until next time...

PEACE!
Love Jude

WORD FOR THE DAY



The word for today is ASS.

Whatever godawful illness my hubby transferred to me while I was minding my own business has done funny things to my ASS. When I try to eat anything, my ASS turns everything into water. I know, nice to know waaaay too much information. But hey it's life and I'm sick, so I get to say what I want. And, I'm getting older, so that also means I get to say what I want.

Oh, and for giving me this bug, my hubby is also an ASS. (thanks honey, I love you but keep your boy kooties to yourself from now on, would ya?)

And there is a certain someone out there who is a TOTAL ASS for being unjustifyably mean and nasty to a friend of mine. This guy is a gentleman in all sense of the word to us ladies. Yet this chick saw fit to treat him abominably. And the whole thing that started it?? ASS! 2 of 'em! Actually that's not true in reality, she has her own issues and that's what started it.

And I have this thing attached to me, my ASS, which I have to haul off to bed now.




Have yourselves a whoopASS day tomorrow, and take care of each other!

PEACE!
Love Jude

ELECTION DAY IN CANADA.....



So, after work we immediately went to our voting station and did our duty. And let me tell you, this time I voted differently than I ever have. Why? Because I REFUSE, FLATLY R.E.F.U.S.E. to vote someone in who might take back what I'm so proud of Canada for doing....and that is giving gays and lesbians in our country the right to same-sex marriage. Anyway, 'nuff said. I'm SO not a political person, but this was important to me.

And, speaking of politics, this had me laughing and I wanted to share it....... it's just a joke, not poking fun at any of my Canadian brothers and sisters. But I AM poking fun at "Dubya"....


CANADIAN CONFIDENCE

George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to
invade next, when his telephone rang...

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up
'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey?
I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"

"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the
pub. That makes eight!"

George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm
tractor."

President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
Tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to
One and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to
ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war
is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
Four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell
You Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
Military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am
Sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can
feed two million prisoners."

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!


Allrightythen...... so I went to work today feeling like a complete pile of shit. Fever, body aches and a cough that won't stop. Which is excrutiatingly embarassing when you're dealing with members across the counter from you. You can see the way they look at the papers and cards etc. that you pass to them, they don't want my germs, and can I blame them? No, I feel the same way around sick people too. At any rate I hated not to go in today, but if I don't get some much needed sleep tonight (hacking all night again), I just won't be able to do another full day like today. I feel a whole lot worse tonight for not having just tried to get some rest.

Again, 'nuff said. I'll get better, we all do. And on that note, I'll leave you all with the usual.....take good care of each other! God bless!

Love Jude

MAKE LIFE COUNT, PART 2





It will get better.














There's always someone who loves you more than you know.













Live up to your name.











Indulge in the things you truly love.











Close your eyes and smile at least once a day!












And my favourite of all........


Hold onto your good friends, they are few and far between.






And what a great note to finish these off on. I truly cherish my friendships, they mean the world to me.

And onto other things..... I worked today, had to get up with the alarm at 6 a.m. What time did I get to sleep? I DIDN'T. At around 4:30 I was so frustrated that I knew I finally just had to get up and stay up, and calm down. The frustration was horrible. It's bad enough when you don't get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, but when you know you have to go to the job and put in a day on zero zzz's, that's the ultimate frustration.

Ask Trucker Bob. He's an early riser and when we were both online we started emailing back and forth. The first one I sent him, he was gentlemanly enough to let me vent. "Dang snoring hubby, blah blah, tossing and turning, yadda yadda"..... Well I owe a big ol' thank you hug to you Bob, by the time I left for work I at least wasn't cranky anymore. Just bone tired! See, now weren't we just talking about cherishing friends?? (geezlouise Bob I just typed "fiends"!! LOL!!)

Anyhoo I somehow made it through the day, and it wasn't too bad. I was a Zombie hippie chick though, and thankfully I was busy enough that the day didn't drag it's ass. So now I'm home and wondering what time it'll all hit me and I'll need to crash. I SHOULD get a good night's sleep tonight! Maybe I'll slip some heavy drug into hubby's food......anybody got oh, 10 or 12 Valium you don't need? (heh heh)

I hope you're all having a decent weekend, and staying warm. I'm off and running (well, maybe dragging....) so until next post, take good care of each other, and I wish you many blessings.

PEACE brothers and sisters,
Love Jude

MAKE LIFE COUNT

Run when you need to.









Give lots of kisses.











Love your friends, no matter who they are.








Don't waste food.








Always be up for surprises.










Share with friends.














......And sharing with friends is what my blog is all about. This is a place you can come and put your feet up, and groove out on the peace vibes.

Whoa. Sorry, flashback!

Well I will share with you about my day today. Not normally a work day for me, but today I was in a job-related class. It's in our Contact (Call) Center, which is oh....a gazillion or so miles away from my home. Anyway I took a cab both ways (over $60!!!) and had interesting chats with both cab drivers. The guy on the way home talked non-stop about things spiritual and meditation, really deep shit, man. I loved it!!

Anyway, this class I was in is all about our particular computer system, and is an advanced class. Let's just say I held my own with the stuff I've learned on the job, sorta..... but struggled with the things I'm not familiar with. But all in all it was okay. This class has I think 16 computers in it, and today I was her only student! Talk about one-on-one instruction, it was kinda cool. Now I just need to practise, practise, practise.... as my instructor said, this stuff is all the things you don't see all the time.

Oh and for any of you who know our U.K. Kate, I got a letter from her today and she's doing great. She's hoping to get internet in the next couple months or so, but for now she's computer-less, poor darling!

Hubby is really sick. Throat that feels like strep (but doc seems to think it isn't) and sinus crap and aching all over. And I have to sleep beside him. OY VEY. I'm loading up on echinacea and Vit.C and praying to whoever will listen.

I'm off and running for this time, so take good care of each other, stay warm and PEACE to you!

Love Jude

WTF? PART II.....



All right, who took Alberta away while I was trying to be alseep?? This CAN'T be my province. It's in the middle of January here, so this is impossible......




THIS IS IT FOR SNOW???












RatHo is disappointed. She begged me to let her go out and play in the white stuff, but this is all there was.



"But ma'am, I wanted you to take me where there was REAL SNOW."







Sorry brat, that's all there is. I told ya!








THIS SUCKS, MA'AM."











Yeah well, if you're hinting to make me send you back for a visit with RatBastard, forget it. Lexy has enough on her hands without you being there.

We're sure not complaining about the lack of the usual DeepFreeze Alberta January winter. It just makes us worried though...."what's coming in February????"

I did something I never do. Last night I slept for 9 hours! And I had a half hour nap today. WooHoo! Now my problem is backing that up with decent sleeps on the nights I have to work the next morning. Pray!!!

Tonight is chat night for our SA Def Leppard group, and I'll be there.....I've missed so many of them of late and I miss the gals. Now to keep my internet up and running so I CAN chat....it's been a nuisance all friggin' day! I think I may need a new modem from my cable company. Anyhoo.....I'm off and running folks.

Take care of each other, and Lexy hon, if I could I'd take some of that damn snow from you. ((hugs))

PEACE!
Love Jude

WTF?


I'm going crazy.

Well at least, my body is.

For my male readers and friends, I hope you don't get all "aw geez....." on me here, it is afterall a fact of life so I hope you'll just look at it in that light. AND give me sympathy, LOL. (just kiddin'!) Besides, all of you have a female in your life you care about that faces this stuff... a mother, sister, wife, friend....whatever.

Okay I've been dealing with the hellish fun of the onset of menopause now for 10 years...almost 11. The last 4 years in full fledged-right-of-passage PAUSE. More like, "Stop". Urch!!

So by now I'm used to the shitty physical crap. But recently a new one has crept up on me, menopause related, or age related or whatever....it's a buggerbitch.

My body, that temple that has done nothing but betray me for the past several years, has made a decision without sending ME the memo. It has decided it wants to sleep during the day, and be awake all night. Until, oh....anywhere from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m., at which time it says, "Okay I'm ready to sleep now, okee dokee?" Terrific, especially when I have to get up at 6 a.m. to get ready for a day at work. Huh.

Needless to say, I'm so exhausted that my head sometimes feels like it's a balloon floating over my neck. Like I've said repeatedly, I really love being my age (almost 54 now) emotionally and spiritually. I just hate it physically ~~ it rather sucks the big one, you know?

My emotional and spiritual states are both climbing upward into realms of zen completely unknown to me in my younger (although slender and petite) years. But my physical state is just, well......going down the crapper of late.





I'm okay, I'm not bitchy or depressed or anything.... just dazed and confoozed most days. Ah well, it'll be better tomorrow maybe?

PEACE to you, and blessings ~~

Love Jude