MY BUM HURTS!
All right, it may be a common problem, but dammit!! it's not one that I've had in my 52 years and I don't want it!! I've suddenly got me a real nice embarrasing hemorroid..... bad enough that I had to go see my doc about it yesterday (don't think THAT'S not degrading!!) I have some prescription cream and it seems to be shrinking the f**ing thing.....but now I'm thinking...."is my bum ever gonna be the same again???" I'm not pregnant, haven't been constipated for years, why me lord??? Sigh. Well apparently it can be hereditary, and my poor Dad had them bad. I can't believe I'm even talking about this on here, lol , but hey, that's life, and this is my blog!! lol
So to make it even worse, I'm not supposed to sit (or stand either) for long periods of time. Well, I can't lay down to be on the computer or to cross stitch, or to cook or to clean or to go to work. etc. etc. etc. And it sucks having gooey stuff on my ass all the time. I just want my old bum back. I miss it, and I never realized how you can take your healthy bum for granted. This is, literally, a big pain in the ass!
Ah.....getting older. Maybe that's part of it too. The nurse I talked to about it likened it to how the rest of your body sags and loses elasticity as you age. So why not your bum's interior?? NICE SUBJECT, YOU SAY??? Yeah, well if you feel that way about this post, go sit on it! (that's one nice thing about getting older, you can tell it like it is and get away with it more, lol) Speaking of aging, a good online friend of mine is going through the "Big M" right now, as I am. I feel for her so much, and I wish I lived near her so we could sit and talk over coffee and commiserate, sharing our stories and buoying each other up. It helps to be around other women going through it. Menopause bites. Don't let your mothers tell you otherwise! It's worse for some than for others, just like periods are. But even the not so bad ones are gross. My periods were always so bad, I used to say to my Mom that I couldn't WAIT until I hit menopause and stopped having them. She would always say to me, "don't say that!!" And now, if I had a daughter and she said that to me, I'd say the same thing my Mom did.
Don't get me wrong, I like being older and wiser. I love where I am emotionally and spiritually. I just wish I had the body of a 20 or 30 year old to go along with it. Honestly, I actually say out loud to myself sometimes that I feel like my body is betraying me. That's what it feels like. My bones and joints just don't want to work properly anymore, nor do they want to stop hurting. Why? Menopause. My old slim self of all my adult years is now bloated and fat. Why? Menopause. Excersise it off, you say?? Can't, my bones won't take it anymore. I tried to keep up my excersises when this started, and I could hardly walk because of it. I can't remember anything without writing it down anymore. I have little post-it notes all over the place at home and at work. Why? Menopause. When my husband isn't keeping me awake snoring, I still can't sleep. Why? You guessed it, you ain't no dummy! The Big M really, really bites hard. However, I don't have it as bad as some women, and for that I'm grateful.
Two interesting things about it. Did you know that body fat carries estrogen in it? It's a known fact (got this straight from a gynie) that a lot of women who take really good care of themselves and are slim when menopause hits, have worse symptoms than chubby women do. It's because they don't have a little extra store of estrogen in body fat. How ironic is THAT?? Geez. And the other thing that I found interesting: did you know there's a correlation between PMS and menopause, in that how your periods were is a lot like how your menopause will be?? If you suffer bad physical PMS you'll most likely have the same in menopause. If you suffer bad emotional PMS, same with menopause. In other words, I didn't have the "bitchy" problem with PMS, just the bad cramps and bleeding to death. lol In menopause, I'm not moody either, just the physical crap. But apparently women who are bitchy when they get their period will most likely be moody and hard to live with through menopause. I'm no expert, but I keep hearing it and it makes sense to me. In short, I'm still loveable, just screwy and fat. And with a sore bum.
So to make it even worse, I'm not supposed to sit (or stand either) for long periods of time. Well, I can't lay down to be on the computer or to cross stitch, or to cook or to clean or to go to work. etc. etc. etc. And it sucks having gooey stuff on my ass all the time. I just want my old bum back. I miss it, and I never realized how you can take your healthy bum for granted. This is, literally, a big pain in the ass!
Ah.....getting older. Maybe that's part of it too. The nurse I talked to about it likened it to how the rest of your body sags and loses elasticity as you age. So why not your bum's interior?? NICE SUBJECT, YOU SAY??? Yeah, well if you feel that way about this post, go sit on it! (that's one nice thing about getting older, you can tell it like it is and get away with it more, lol) Speaking of aging, a good online friend of mine is going through the "Big M" right now, as I am. I feel for her so much, and I wish I lived near her so we could sit and talk over coffee and commiserate, sharing our stories and buoying each other up. It helps to be around other women going through it. Menopause bites. Don't let your mothers tell you otherwise! It's worse for some than for others, just like periods are. But even the not so bad ones are gross. My periods were always so bad, I used to say to my Mom that I couldn't WAIT until I hit menopause and stopped having them. She would always say to me, "don't say that!!" And now, if I had a daughter and she said that to me, I'd say the same thing my Mom did.
Don't get me wrong, I like being older and wiser. I love where I am emotionally and spiritually. I just wish I had the body of a 20 or 30 year old to go along with it. Honestly, I actually say out loud to myself sometimes that I feel like my body is betraying me. That's what it feels like. My bones and joints just don't want to work properly anymore, nor do they want to stop hurting. Why? Menopause. My old slim self of all my adult years is now bloated and fat. Why? Menopause. Excersise it off, you say?? Can't, my bones won't take it anymore. I tried to keep up my excersises when this started, and I could hardly walk because of it. I can't remember anything without writing it down anymore. I have little post-it notes all over the place at home and at work. Why? Menopause. When my husband isn't keeping me awake snoring, I still can't sleep. Why? You guessed it, you ain't no dummy! The Big M really, really bites hard. However, I don't have it as bad as some women, and for that I'm grateful.
Two interesting things about it. Did you know that body fat carries estrogen in it? It's a known fact (got this straight from a gynie) that a lot of women who take really good care of themselves and are slim when menopause hits, have worse symptoms than chubby women do. It's because they don't have a little extra store of estrogen in body fat. How ironic is THAT?? Geez. And the other thing that I found interesting: did you know there's a correlation between PMS and menopause, in that how your periods were is a lot like how your menopause will be?? If you suffer bad physical PMS you'll most likely have the same in menopause. If you suffer bad emotional PMS, same with menopause. In other words, I didn't have the "bitchy" problem with PMS, just the bad cramps and bleeding to death. lol In menopause, I'm not moody either, just the physical crap. But apparently women who are bitchy when they get their period will most likely be moody and hard to live with through menopause. I'm no expert, but I keep hearing it and it makes sense to me. In short, I'm still loveable, just screwy and fat. And with a sore bum.
posted by Jude at Monday, October 11, 2004
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