A FRIDAY CHUCKLE FOR YA'S
Thank you to my buddy Vickytoria for this one!
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish...............................49
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking....................Mooooooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Former sl*t.
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..........................B*tch.
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Does that about sum it up? LOL!
Not much happening here in the way of news. I'm getting ready to host sister Pammie's birthday party Saturday so there's lots to do. I'm finishing up housecleaning and doing laundry today and then tomorrow we'll have a chicken dinner and French Vanilla birthday cake with Cream Cheese icing. YUMMERS!
I'm up so late because hubby was snoring and I couldn't get to sleep. *YAWN*!! I am about to give it another try so off I go. Maybe this time I'll take a gun with me? JUST KIDDING!
Hope you all have a terrific weekend, take good care of each other and until next we meet, PEACE be yours!
Love Jude
Thank you to my buddy Vickytoria for this one!
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish...............................49
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking....................Mooooooo.
Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Former sl*t.
New-Age............................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..........................B*tch.
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Does that about sum it up? LOL!
Not much happening here in the way of news. I'm getting ready to host sister Pammie's birthday party Saturday so there's lots to do. I'm finishing up housecleaning and doing laundry today and then tomorrow we'll have a chicken dinner and French Vanilla birthday cake with Cream Cheese icing. YUMMERS!
I'm up so late because hubby was snoring and I couldn't get to sleep. *YAWN*!! I am about to give it another try so off I go. Maybe this time I'll take a gun with me? JUST KIDDING!
Hope you all have a terrific weekend, take good care of each other and until next we meet, PEACE be yours!
Love Jude
posted by Jude at Friday, March 17, 2006
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