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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

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PET DIARIES

(Thanks to my friend Debbers!)

The Dog's Diary -

7AM - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8AM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9AM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6PM - Oh boy! Welcome home,Mom! My favorite!
7PM - Oh boy! Welcome home, Dad! My favorite!
8PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my humans bed! My favorite!
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The Cat's Diary -

Day 2,190 of my captivity.....
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh mean, while I am forced to eat dry kibble.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape and the mild
satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow, I may eat
another house plant. Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weaving
around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Note to
self - try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. They only petted me
reassuringly. Perhaps I should try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only coo'd and condescended about what a good little
kitty I was. This is not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing something called allergies. Must learn what
this is and how to use them to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He
speaks
with them regularly and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured ----- but I
can wait.
It's only a matter of time..



I've never had a cat but I've known lots of them through family and friends. And I HAVE had several doggies.... so I can thoroughly attest to the truth of the above!

Not much for news, feeling better..... back's still sore but bearable. Hope you're all having a decent week! Take good care of each other.....

PEACE
Love Jude

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