BEING BRAVE
There's lots of ways I can be brave...... I can learn all kinds of stuff about HTML and posting pics and audio on my blog, which is all new to me, and I've fallen completely in love with it! (thanks Lors and Pammie for your example!) 
.......and after scaring the beejeebers out of myself by "crashing" the whole thing from one stupid mistake (PREVIEW JUDE!!)
I mean, breaking out into a SWEAT!!
...... I got real brave and still tried new things, even knowing that the preview button would save me would still freak me out. And another thing..... I wanna know how come all the stupid silly things I do in my PRACTICE BLOG, which I have there for that purpose, never screws IT up!! But you know, I'm the world's biggest chicken shit sometimes, LOL. And I can be brave going to Dr. I.L. Drillya for his becoming-all-too-routine root canals, even though I cringe at the thought of drills! Really, I can be pretty brave about lots of stuff when I have to be. But last night I got REALLY brave, and made myself do something I was very reluctant to do. You know when you just "rush ahead into it before you think about it too much" kinda thing. It may sound silly, but to me it was BIG. I put up my Christmas tree. As soon as I put it together and started fluffing out the branches (and there are LOTS of them on my tree, it's big and beautiful and full!) I slowed down and started thinking a bit too much, and there it was, last year and Mom. It was like getting an emotional jump-start into the past and, worse, all the feelings that went along with it. And I could feel Mom around me, so I just said to her "okay Mom you just hang around me and we'll do this tree together"...... and that's exactly what we did. And it really helped, cuz it became more of a reminiscing of all the Christmases past and some of the things I put on my tree that she actually made for me through the years felt like they were being given to me all over again. You know? It was pretty cool, really. So yeah, the big chicken-shit got through it! And I must say, of a lot of pretty okay stuff I've done in my life, it's stuff like this that makes me feel pretty good about myself. I HAVE COURAGE! LOL
Anyway I know it probably sounds a little melodramatic, and I don't mean it to, but it WAS a big deal and I admit I was so not ready to deal with the heaviness of the feelings that I really had to force myself to move forward with this Christmas. And I'm glad I did, cuz it's my fav holiday of the year, and Mom knows that too!!
While my sister Pam and I were out grocery shopping today, I bought a new Christmas CD too...... I spotted it in Staples, and it was a good price so I grabbed it. It's Frank Mills (pianist) playing all the old Christmas hymns, which are my favourites. I prefer them over the "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree' variety. So I've got it in my player right now listening to it, and it's good!
And I love a soft piano tinkling beautiful melodies anyway. Him and Hennie Becker, they're both great pianists and I have a few CD's by them, for easy listening, sometimes set to nature sounds, that I play in my cashroom at work lots. That and classical music. The girls who relieve me in there just love it. They call it the "Zen Zone".
So I've got the lights in the tree and they are so beautiful, all jewel colours and sparkly. I like the mini-lights the best so that's what I have. Now I've got to finish decorating the tree, which I'll work on after work one or two evenings this week. Not sure which one of us 3 sisters here in Edmonton is doing the Christmas dinner this year, but I have a feeling who it's probably gonna be ~ more than likely Brenda, she's got the bigger house and kids, so it's easier for us to go there, and frankly I just don't feel like the work! Such a lazybones I am these days. Honest, really and truly
I am, you know the old joke about when vaccuming if you see a piece of fluff on the floor the vaccum won't pick up, you bend over, pick it up and set it back down and keep trying with the vaccum?? Well, I don't even bother anymore, I just leave it there. If it doesn't wanna cooperate with the vaccum, then it can stay there for all I care. As if I'm gonna give my poor ol' back a workout just for that. And that's if I vaccum, which is not as often as it used to be! That's another story......it's a good thing I get company now and then. It forces me to have to clean better than just a bit here and there once in awhile, LOL.
Well peeps I am very much enjoying "chatting" with you, I don't wanna call it a night and get some sleep for the work day tomorrow, but I really should get my ass (and the rest of me) off here and do just that.... alas.
I hope you all have a good week, enjoy those turkey sammiches for lunches!! Take care everyone, and PEACE be yours!
Love Jude
.......and after scaring the beejeebers out of myself by "crashing" the whole thing from one stupid mistake (PREVIEW JUDE!!)
I mean, breaking out into a SWEAT!!
...... I got real brave and still tried new things, even knowing that the preview button would save me would still freak me out. And another thing..... I wanna know how come all the stupid silly things I do in my PRACTICE BLOG, which I have there for that purpose, never screws IT up!! But you know, I'm the world's biggest chicken shit sometimes, LOL. And I can be brave going to Dr. I.L. Drillya for his becoming-all-too-routine root canals, even though I cringe at the thought of drills! Really, I can be pretty brave about lots of stuff when I have to be. But last night I got REALLY brave, and made myself do something I was very reluctant to do. You know when you just "rush ahead into it before you think about it too much" kinda thing. It may sound silly, but to me it was BIG. I put up my Christmas tree. As soon as I put it together and started fluffing out the branches (and there are LOTS of them on my tree, it's big and beautiful and full!) I slowed down and started thinking a bit too much, and there it was, last year and Mom. It was like getting an emotional jump-start into the past and, worse, all the feelings that went along with it. And I could feel Mom around me, so I just said to her "okay Mom you just hang around me and we'll do this tree together"...... and that's exactly what we did. And it really helped, cuz it became more of a reminiscing of all the Christmases past and some of the things I put on my tree that she actually made for me through the years felt like they were being given to me all over again. You know? It was pretty cool, really. So yeah, the big chicken-shit got through it! And I must say, of a lot of pretty okay stuff I've done in my life, it's stuff like this that makes me feel pretty good about myself. I HAVE COURAGE! LOL
Anyway I know it probably sounds a little melodramatic, and I don't mean it to, but it WAS a big deal and I admit I was so not ready to deal with the heaviness of the feelings that I really had to force myself to move forward with this Christmas. And I'm glad I did, cuz it's my fav holiday of the year, and Mom knows that too!!
While my sister Pam and I were out grocery shopping today, I bought a new Christmas CD too...... I spotted it in Staples, and it was a good price so I grabbed it. It's Frank Mills (pianist) playing all the old Christmas hymns, which are my favourites. I prefer them over the "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree' variety. So I've got it in my player right now listening to it, and it's good!
And I love a soft piano tinkling beautiful melodies anyway. Him and Hennie Becker, they're both great pianists and I have a few CD's by them, for easy listening, sometimes set to nature sounds, that I play in my cashroom at work lots. That and classical music. The girls who relieve me in there just love it. They call it the "Zen Zone".
So I've got the lights in the tree and they are so beautiful, all jewel colours and sparkly. I like the mini-lights the best so that's what I have. Now I've got to finish decorating the tree, which I'll work on after work one or two evenings this week. Not sure which one of us 3 sisters here in Edmonton is doing the Christmas dinner this year, but I have a feeling who it's probably gonna be ~ more than likely Brenda, she's got the bigger house and kids, so it's easier for us to go there, and frankly I just don't feel like the work! Such a lazybones I am these days. Honest, really and truly
I am, you know the old joke about when vaccuming if you see a piece of fluff on the floor the vaccum won't pick up, you bend over, pick it up and set it back down and keep trying with the vaccum?? Well, I don't even bother anymore, I just leave it there. If it doesn't wanna cooperate with the vaccum, then it can stay there for all I care. As if I'm gonna give my poor ol' back a workout just for that. And that's if I vaccum, which is not as often as it used to be! That's another story......it's a good thing I get company now and then. It forces me to have to clean better than just a bit here and there once in awhile, LOL.
Well peeps I am very much enjoying "chatting" with you, I don't wanna call it a night and get some sleep for the work day tomorrow, but I really should get my ass (and the rest of me) off here and do just that.... alas.
I hope you all have a good week, enjoy those turkey sammiches for lunches!! Take care everyone, and PEACE be yours!
Love Jude
posted by Jude at Sunday, November 28, 2004
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