IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVROURITE WORDS
My sister Pam sent me this today, I've seen it before a long time ago, and really loved it ~ as a matter of fact, I loved the "shit" out of it! 
So I wanted to share it with you, and hope you get a good chuckle out of it too. Thanks Pammie! 
The Most Functional English Word
Well, it's shit...that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional
word in the English language.
Consider:
You can get shit-faced,
Be shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains.
With a little effort,
you can get your shit together,
Find a place for your shit, Or
be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while
others can't tell the difference
between Shit and Shineola.
There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
There is bull shit,
horse shit and
chicken shit.
You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
shoot the shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or
serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit or
a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit, or find
yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times
you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit,
you don't need to know anything else!
Yep it's one of my most oft-used words, and so much so that I find myself digging an even DEEPER ditch with it when I'm around kids....... I'll be talking, say "shit", and notice the kids and say "Shit! I mean, shit! OH SHIT!!" I just grab hold of that shovel and keep digging........
Have a great Thursday everyone, until next time, PEACE!
Love Jude
AND NOW..... ANOTHER HORROR SCOPE BY GYPSY JUDLES
"As the moon's cusp moves into Pisces tomorrow, Sagittarians should be aware that skin problems may arise. Flaky, scaly skin could be a sign that you are eating far too much fish. Best to eat mostly pork for now, but be wary of little curly pink things growing out of your butt. Taurus will notice persistant headaches but this will alleviate once you figure out you've been wearing your contacts for 3 weeks straight. (My God are you ALL menopausal??) All signs, especially females, should walk like an Egyptian, because girls just wanna have fu-un. People born on this date: Johnny Walker and Captain Morgan."
So I wanted to share it with you, and hope you get a good chuckle out of it too. Thanks Pammie! The Most Functional English Word
Well, it's shit...that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional
word in the English language.
Consider:
You can get shit-faced,
Be shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains.
With a little effort,
you can get your shit together,
Find a place for your shit, Or
be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while
others can't tell the difference
between Shit and Shineola.
There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
There is bull shit,
horse shit and
chicken shit.
You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
shoot the shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or
serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit or
a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit, or find
yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times
you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit,
you don't need to know anything else!
Yep it's one of my most oft-used words, and so much so that I find myself digging an even DEEPER ditch with it when I'm around kids....... I'll be talking, say "shit", and notice the kids and say "Shit! I mean, shit! OH SHIT!!" I just grab hold of that shovel and keep digging........
Have a great Thursday everyone, until next time, PEACE!
Love Jude
AND NOW..... ANOTHER HORROR SCOPE BY GYPSY JUDLES
"As the moon's cusp moves into Pisces tomorrow, Sagittarians should be aware that skin problems may arise. Flaky, scaly skin could be a sign that you are eating far too much fish. Best to eat mostly pork for now, but be wary of little curly pink things growing out of your butt. Taurus will notice persistant headaches but this will alleviate once you figure out you've been wearing your contacts for 3 weeks straight. (My God are you ALL menopausal??) All signs, especially females, should walk like an Egyptian, because girls just wanna have fu-un. People born on this date: Johnny Walker and Captain Morgan."
posted by Jude at Thursday, February 24, 2005
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