GETTING OLDER, AND GAS PROBLEMS

THIS kind of gas.......


And in my wallet, I have a sum total of SFA



Thanks to my friend Terri (you sweetie, you) I have this funny to share with you all. I've added some of my own touches here too. Now pay attention, this is insightful and useful information for.....when you get older like me and hubby are. LOL

LOVE MAKING TIPS FOR SENIORS

1. Put on your glasses and double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes in case you doze off in the middle. Turn the volume down on the timer first though, you don't need heart failure.
3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them all off so that wrinkles, pouches and paunches are invisible.
4. Make sure you have 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Throw out those old condoms in the bedside table. Your spermatoza is as old as YOU are, you know, and her eggs got fried years ago.
6. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember. Write YOUR name on the other hand so you will know if your partner is fantasizing about someone else.
7. Keep extra Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.... or if you get past 3 minutes, stuck embarrassingly to some body part.
8. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act. Oh, and some Aspirin for heart therapy.
9. Make all the noise you want. Your partner AND your old neighbours are all deaf too.
10. If it works, call everyone with the good news.
11. Don't even THINK about trying it twice.
12. Have a much needed nap, you STUD!!!


Okay, (hiding my Polygrip and Aspirin away) I hope you all learned something, and copy/paste that one for later on.

I'm off to bed folks, it's late and the plumber AND gas guys are here in the morning. Have a great Tuesday and be kind to each other ~~ PEACE!

Love Jude