DRINKIN', SMOKIN', STEALIN', AND THE FIRST RAT BEATIN'

****NOTE: I lost the original post, and I just did all of this again. I also lost all the many great comments I got on this post, and I'd like to apologize for that and thank you all!**


This is what I saw when I walked into my kitchen.

(Get away from my Glazed Ginger RatHo, and quit smokin' my ciggies you little thief.)



A FEW MINUTES LATER....
What??? I little nip now and then never hurt a rat, ma'am.


(Right. Gimme that. You're cut off, and the bar's closed you little wench.)


I gave RatHo a good talking to and made her go stand in the corner. I even told her she couldn't spend any time with her HunkBear until she proved herself to me again.


Uh huh. As if that worked......... later that night when it was dark and the house was quiet, I could hear glasses tinkling and drunken RatGiggling in the living room....



Whuzz yer problum lady? *hic* Whutter you starin' at? *hic*



(All right, that does it! Get off my leather cowboy, gimme that ciggie, and I'm pouring that wine down the sink. Just you wait, I'm gonna go find my belt and give you a beatin', you little skank.)



So off I go to search for my leather belt. When I come back what do I see? Where do drunks "hang" out?...........



She was hanging on the chandelier singing, "Me And My Wine".




Okay the next part is too nasty to show pictures of, let's just say that RatHo has a hard time sitting on her heiny right now.



THE NEXT DAY....

The lying little thief was really missing her HunkBear and was begging and pleading with me. She promised to straighten up, and even said she wanted to become a Flower Child RatHo, preaching about Love and Peace. So when I got out my stuff for a meditation, I let her join in.





*OHM....OHM....*









Oh yeah, look at the tarot card the little chit got! Hahahah



It's "The Fool"








Hmmmm, I wonder if that card was really for ME??



THE NEXT DAY.........



See what we got? This is through the fancy schmancy front door window.







Here, maybe this is better......


WE GOT SOME SNOW








Later that afternoon......



Please can I go out and play in the snow, ma'am?? I wanna go out in the snow, ma'am!!! Please please please please.......




Oh yeah right. As if I'd let you outside. You'd have our rat-free Alberta all ridden with little RatHo's you brazen little hussy.

Take that scarf off and fuggedaboutdit, RatHo.


Geez, I wonder if Puppy Kindergarten's take rats to train. Oh honey, where's the phone book??