SUNDAY HA HA

Nothing much to report in the way of fantastic news or anything. Just spent my weekend the usual way, Saturday at work and Sunday out grocery shopping etc. So, rather than bore you with inconsequential nothingness (wow those were BIG words for such a mentalpausal chick, huh??) I'll just leave you with a little chuckle. Maybe the next time I can report something really big, like that I won the lottery, or that Canada just broke away from the U.S. and is floating somewhere in the mid Pacific. Until then though, enjoy the funny, and have a great Monday!

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.

___________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , CookIt 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag=20 9.5 Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Be good, take care of each other!

PEACE!

Love Jude

BLUE AND GREEN

Years ago I always heard that you should never mix blue and green. However, I happen to like blue and green better than blue and brown. This morning when I went outside with my camera in hand, I snapped a couple off of the blue and green....

Remember this one from a couple of weeks ago?


Look at it now....


The two young trees in my front yard. The one closest to the house is my Russian Olive. It's the last to sprout it's pretty silvery green buds, so right now it still wears the dried up leaves that didn't fall off last autumn. The furthest one is my cherry tree, and there are green buds..... and soon the whole tree will be full of beautiful white flowers.




Then, from my kitchen window. Ahh that Alberta blue sky again....The blue and green!! The buds are starting to come out on the trees, giving the branches a slight green tinge.



New growth. I can never remember the name of this stuff, but it's a ground cover and is white and green. Plush and pretty when it's grown. For now, just little babies.....


Remember this from a couple of weeks ago? The second picture is from this morning......


This will also be full of pretty white flowers very soon now!


In the very back corner of the backyard, along the back lane, sits a rather scrawny looking bush. Very soon, this will be awash with the prettiest little pink flowers. I can't remember what this one is either.... can you tell I'm not a gardener?

I couldn't get any closer to get a close up of the buds coming out. Hubby still has a mass of "stuff" from renos sitting out in the backyard. We haven't really had a backyard for about a year now, and I miss it.

Hubby just bought this. We had our first BBQ of the season the other day, we made burgers and they ROCKED!



This afternoon:

I had just finished vaccuuming the house and as I was leaving the bedroom I saw my mommy bunny on the lawn out front. I've talked about her before, she's been a permanent fixture on our front lawn for a few years now. It was her bunny tracks in the snow that I showed you a few weeks back. These are kind of hard to see as she's so far away.... but she's turning brown now for the summer and she's in my grass out by the road...



This one I took through the glass on my front door window, which is why the picture looks wonky:


As you can probably tell here, I lost my balance; about a second later I fell over, LOL



It's a gorgeous spring day out there today. The windows are letting in the fresh air and we've quite a breeze today. I got a lot of housework done and it's been a productive day!

I hope that you too are enjoying the green and blue where you are. Right now it's perfect, it's not too hot yet, and there's almost no insects yet! WOOHOO!

Soon though.... you'll hear me bitching. A LOT.



Take good care of each other, and God bless!

Love Jude

CELEBRATE THE WRINKLIES!!!




Today's the day I'm 54
Party on let's make a roar
Put on the smile get out the glam
I'm glad I reached the age I am
The wrinkles show I've had good times
Keep goin' Jude you need more rhymes
Glad for friends and family too
I love you all and that means YOU!


Life is fun when you can have your cake and eat it too!



Thanks to everyone for all the birthday wishes!! They all got posted in comments on my previous post while I was working on THIS post! LOL

Have a happy day, all....and take care of each other!

Love from
Birthday Gal Jude xox

GETTING OLD, PART DEUX

I don't take back a darn thing I said in the post below, inside I don't feel any older than around 30-ish. Just the ol' bod that sabotages that and makes it KNOWN that I'm older than that. And in both of these posts, please understand that I am not "down" or "complaining" about the whole aging process...... I'm merely making some fun of it and I like being able to laugh at myself!

Having said that, I'm not doing too bad for my older age. I only have some gray hair, and that's not bad for 54. Not that I'm worrying much about that, I'm just going to stay with my natural colour and hope that it turns out a pretty silver white. Even a long haired rocker chick with silver hair can be cool!! I can teach those younger Lepp fans a thing or two when it comes down to being on my feet dancing for a couple of hours, screaming out the words to every song and pumping my arms in the air!

Even if I do privately pay for it in spades the next day.... LOL

Here's a rather embarassing one for ya. With the oh-so-attractive sudden weight gain a few years ago, I suddenly found out what women were complaining about when they talked about their thighs rubbing together. The inner thigh seams of their pants wore out. I used to be like... "wtf"?? YEP. Now I understand, ladies.

But it's not all that bad. I still have the heart and spirit of the person who's age I once was, and I really believe that helps. I know women much younger than I am who look and act a whole lot older than I am! Some women figure that when they hit the magic age of 40-ish that it means they must get their hair done into one of those old lady haircuts. You know the ones... non-descript and often permed, just kinda......"round". Or they become more staid in their ways. Not me. Keepin' my long hair I don't-care-what-anyone-friggin-says-about-it and I REFUSE to start acting my age. Dammit. It's more fun to be young, so I'm staying the way I am. Silly. Funny. Laughing. Rockin'. Did I already say silly? Definitely that.

Like I've said before, a lot of my friends are way younger than me, some are my age but not all. In case you're wondering about the people calling me "Ma" in my guestbook and on my guestmap, that's some of those people. I belong to a forum (not music related) and we're like a little family over there. We actually elude to ourselves as "the Family". As I happen to be the oldest female, I got the name "Ma", and I'm proud of it! Ma I am to them, even to the ones who are my age, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I put up a new pic of myself in my sidebar recently. I figured the old one from 4 yrs. ago on MySpace was due for a more recent, 54 yr. old mug, then I decided to put one up on here for the very first time too. The way I see it is, I'm about to turn 54, I'm flauntin' it, Bay-bee!!!

(Oh, but you will notice that you cannot see the worn thigh seams on my pants though ~~ some things just don't need to be shared that badly........) **wink**

Take good care of each other ~~ PEACE!

Love Jude

I'M GETTING OLD.......


Speaking of farts..... here's (a young) one you can SEE! (turn on your sound)

BABY FART

Do you realize I'm over halfway done this lifetime of mine? Scary thought huh? Well not really "scary", just makes you think. Soon I'll be 54. I can't see me still being around pissing all the young'uns off at 108. I don't think I'd WANT to get that old! LOL

When I was half this age, a ripe old 27 still had me slim and bouncy. Perky, even. I didn't have aches and pains that made me have to move slowly when I first got out of bed. Hell, I bounced out of bed! With a smile! I still had perfect vision. And a smooth neck, no wrinkles yet really. Just maybe a couple of teeny ones around my eyes. But that's because I laugh and smile a lot. And I use my face well too ~~ when I'm talking I'm quite animated and use a lot of facial expressions. So, I guess some of my wrinkles ARE character lines, huh? Huh? Yeah!



And when I was 27 I didn't have hot flashes, nor get hot so easily. I was the first one to get cold in a room with the window open. I hadn't yet found out what it was going to feel like to melt and get really ill from heat exhaustion in any temperature over 72 degrees. I wore slippers around the house all the time. If I did that now I'd die from Hot Feet Syndrome.

And back then, I hadn't gained a gazillion pounds from menopause. I had such a flat tummy and tiny waist that people used to stop in the middle of a sentence and comment on it. I thought I had a big ass. Huh!! Riiiiight.... I'd give the fat off my right butt cheek for that "big ass" now I tell ya. LOL Then, it didn't take the attractive loose fat under my upper arms 10 full minutes to stop waving after I waved hello to someone, either.



Zooming forward to twice that age ~~ here I am now almost at 4 years past a half century. Can you believe it? I can't! Inside, I feel about 30. Truly no older than that. Spiritually I feel about 1 million years old, but that's a good thing. Physically.... well some days I feel 50, and others I feel 93. Depends on those aches and pains. But I'm hangin' in there!

Oh, and that farting baby? Must be a boy baby... they fart. But girls? Young or old, we just gently fluff.....

Take care of each other, and PEACE be yours!

Love Jude

~ Saturday, April 22 ~

This Saturday is Earth Day, and although I'm not a fanatic about it, I'm all about doing my part to be conscientious. I do try to be very careful what I throw in my regular trash, and I ask myself will it break down easily? And we recycle here like crazy too. Of course it helps that we have blue bags to put all of our recyclables into, we don't have to sort them anymore. Years ago here, we did have to sort: plastic, paper, glass... etc. etc. and place the sorted items in blue buckets. That was a lot more work so this is much easier. The sorting is done for us.




Here is a compelling quiz you can take, it's a short one:

EARTHDAY QUIZ

I didn't do nearly as well as I thought I would have..... it just goes to show that we all could do so much more to be kinder to our earth, and help her to heal. If not for ourselves at least for future generations. It has to start somewhere, right?



Back in the days when it was horse and buggy and living off the land instead of smokestack factories preparing our food with fillers and God knows what else, our Earth fared much better, was cleaner and more pristine, and the air was healthy for you to breathe. However I'm not knocking progress and all the modern miracles we have today, only that in progressing to this point, we've somehow been ignoring our beautiful planet. Now we need to do what we can to make it a healthier place to live in again.




Wishing you all a very good upcoming weekend, and Happy Earth Day!

PEACE be yours,
Love Jude

I'M TRYING THIS!!

Bounce This Along

My mail carrier told me that the US Postal service
sent out a message to all letter carriers to put a
sheet of Bounce in their uniform pockets to keep
yellow-jackets away. Use them all the time when
playing baseball and soccer. I use it whenI am
working outside. It really works. The yellow jackets
just veer aroundyou.All this time you've just been
putting Bounce in the dryer! It will:

1. Chase ants away when you lay a sheet near them.

2. It also repels mice. Spread sheets around
foundation areas, or in trailers, or cars that are
sitting and it keeps mice from entering your
vehicle.

3. It takes the odor out of books and photo albums
that don't get opened too often.

4. It repels mosquitoes. Tie a sheet of Bounce
through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

5. Eliminate static electricity from your
television (or computer) screen.

6. Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate
static cling, wipe your television screen with a used
sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

7. Dissolve soap scum from shower doors. Clean
with a sheet of Bounce.

8. To freshen the air in your home - Place an
individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang in the closet.

9. Put Bounce sheet in vacuum cleaner.

10. Prevent thread from tangling. Run a threaded needle
through a sheet of Bounce before beginning to sew.

11. Prevent musty suitcases. Place an individual
sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

12. To freshen the air in your car - Place a sheet
of Bounce under the front seat.

13. Clean baked-on foods from a cooking pan. Put a
sheet in a pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge
clean. The anti-static agent apparently weakens the bond
between the food and the pan.

14. Eliminate odors in wastebaskets. Place a sheet
of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

15. Collect cat hair. Rubbing the area with a
sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

16. Eliminate static electricity from Venetian
blinds. Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent
dust from resettling.

17. Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering. A used sheet
of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

18. Eliminate odors in dirty laundry. Place an
individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag
or hamper.

19. Deodorize shoes or sneakers. Place a sheet of
Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight.

20. Golfers put a Bounce sheet in their back
pocket to keep the bees away.

21. Put a Bounce sheet in your sleeping bag and
tent before folding and storing them. It will keep them smelling
fresh.


Hey, anything that might keep wasps away from me, I'll try it! This summer and autumn when I'm outside making the walking trek to work?? I'm stuffing sheets of Bounce in my pockets and waving a few sheets in my hands!

How's everyone been? It's only Tuesday night and I'm already exhausted. We were short a person at work these last 2 days and I spent the entire time on my feet. Geez that's tough on this ol' bod I tell ya.

Well I have a few days at home now, stuff to do here as usual but I'm going to spend tomorrow OFF my feet and give 'em a break.

After work tonight hubby and I went to get our taxes done. It made for an even longer day as we of course got home late, but it was well worth it. Both of us get some money back and that is GOOD news!

Well chicks and dudes, I'm off to bed soon. Have a great Hump Day and take good care of each other.... we're all we have!

PEACE
Love Jude

HAND ART

Wow, these are just the coolest thing!



























Whoever does this sure has a talent with a brush and some paint, I could never do something that turned out like this!

And elephants being so special to me, I particularly love the last one.... it's beautifully done.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter? We don't really do anything for Easter in our family... except for the one sister with younger kids, and really only one of them is young enough yet. So it's been a normal weekend here. How about you guys, did you do anything special, and did you have fun?

It's a rainy/snowy kinda day here. I say "snow" as it rains, turns into snow, melts as it hits the ground... kinda thing. Cloudy and definitely cool with that wind. However it's supposed to warm up again this week so we can't complain. Or at least I can't..... some people here who should be living in Florida might complain... heh heh

Just got back from grocery shopping a couple hours ago, and now I'm just getting stuff ready for the work week. Made some tuna salad for sammiches, that sort of thing. See I told ya there's really nothing exciting happening here!!

Well peeps I wish you all a fabulous week, take good care of each other!

Love Jude

HOPPY EASTER!




It's been a year since last Easter??? Wow the year sure do go by faster as you get older! I'm not kidding, either!

We've been having beautiful spring weather and I'm starting to see some "green" in the grass now. Soon the trees will be budding and it'll look much prettier than it does now.

Not much in the way of news I'm afraid. No exciting things to talk about, or earth-moving revelations. Just as well, I kinda like the quiet of a regular ol' day!

I'll be working as usual and won't be doing anything much out of the ordinary, but do any of you have any special plans for this weekend?

I'm wishing you all a really good Easter, and I hope if you find a sweet bunny in your basket you'll have fun eating him! (down, Sandy, down!!) Mua ha ha ha!




Take care of each other and God bless!

PEACE
Love Jude

YEAH!!


Only about 6 weeks or so away, and Def Leppard's new album "Yeah!" hits the stores! I love the cover art for it, that's my hunky bass player dude second from the left.


I also love the way it's set up exactly where they always are on stage. I want front row right under Sav!! (I could also say "anywhere under Sav would be wonderful and tittilating, but I'm a lady. *snort*)

The upcoming tour ends up in the Pacific Northwest (right under me!!) at the very end of August. So...... I'm thinking we just might see them here in early-ish September, which is groovy baby, as that's when I'm on holidays. **grin** We'll have to wait and see when some Canadian dates start showing up.

Oh, and they're next studio album? It's supposed to be "rockier". Doesn't THAT make Judles tremble with anticipation??

YEAH!

Hope you're having a great weekend, I'm off for groceries now. Take care of each other....

PEACE
Love Jude

RAINY DAY


Today we had our very first day of spring rain. It's cloudy out but still decent. The rain didn't last long and goodness knows we need much more of it to clean things up after the winter melt. Then after that, we need the spring winds to dry it up. THEN, we need the sun to "pop" out the buds and flowers.

Yup, it's coming!

But for today, cloudy:





And soon we'll be catching the neighbourhood sounds of lawnmowers and the scent of barbecues cooking delicious meals, like steak, hamburgers, and hot dogs!

I think I'll get me one of these:









Weenie, anyone?

Take care of each other!

PEACE
Love Jude

TIRED..... ZZZZZZZ


Okay it CAN'T be just the lost hour of sleep from the time change. I'm probably also just feeling the effects of the last vestiges of this bug I'm almost over. But regardless, I can't seem to get enough sleep, I just want more. No matter though, this too shall pass and I'll be full of piss and vinegar once again!!

No news, aren't you bored with me yet?? Sheesh. Weather is gorgeous, almost no snow except for the huge piles of it where the graders shoved masses of it, and those are melting away. The sun is shining daily. Spring has arrived and it's nice to be in the fresh air before it gets too hot.

I've a giggle to share, but before I do I'm posting this disclaimer that I actually LIKE where I work and I LOVE the people I work with, as well as my boss who's a terrific lady! Having said that, this is still a good one:



Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit clearer....

IN PRISON.. You spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON....the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK... you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out..
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers


I'm fast running out of time again and need to get my tired ol' butt to bed.... but I wanted to connect with my blogger buds and say "HI!" before I hit the sheets. I hope you have an excellent week, and take good care of each other! Catch you soon,

PEACE
Love Jude

BIBLE SOAP!



Holy Soap


Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to he showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser". To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs, then yells . . . "Holy Mary, Mother of God, hand lotion too!!!"


Hope you enjoyed your Sunday ha-ha! I laughed and laughed at that one, LOL

Not much news here, going out in a couple of hours for a grocery/banking run. Then back to work Monday and Tuesday. Still lovely spring weather, soon all the snow will be gone, it's almost there now.

Did you all remember to change your clocks??? Bleh!!

I hope you all have a fabulous Sunday, take care of each other and God bless!

PEACE!
Love Jude